Monday, November 27, 2006 11:57 PM
Just what is that? Jealousy?
What is the need to feel jealous about? I don't know. I guess, at some point, one will get jealous over something.
I try to control my emotion but my heart isn't able to control it. Sigh... People should just control their emotion. That is what an actor should do. Control their emotion.
If one cannot control their emotion on stage and start to go acccording to what their heart tells them to, the show will be disastrous. I guess that is what we have to do.
Control our emotions.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Thursday, November 23, 2006 9:21 AM
What do you want to work as when you grow up? What factors would you consider?
Would you want high pay?
Would you want long working hours?
Would you prefer to sit down or to stand up?
Would you want to work in an office?
Would you want to interact with customers?
Sigh... sometimes, people wonder and think too much. Well, I am not blaming them or what for this is really important. Would you choose a job with high pay but you don't like it or would you rather choose a job that you like with low pay?
Think about it.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Monday, November 20, 2006 12:17 AM
I am going to talk about personality today. Personality is a strange word. It has a different defination to every single person. There is no ambiguous personalities. That is what make 'personality' unique. For some, personality may mean hot-tempered and kind-hearted. While for others, it may mean stingy and cheerful. You see, it is all different!
Let me give you an example. You give Mr A and Mrs B the same script and let to direct separately. The results will be totally different. Mr A's play may be a cheerful and light play. However, on the other hand, Mrs B's play may be morbid and heavy. If you ask me which I prefer, I would say I prefer the latter for my taste is in the dark and heavy department. =)
See, it all boils down to different personalities. In another scenario, when there is a fire, Mr A may run around screaming and shouting "HELP! THERE IS A FIRE!" while Mrs B would sit there and say "CALL THE FIRE STATION STUPID!".
So, what is the point I am trying to bring forth? People have different personalities. It is almost impossible to have everyone clicking. It will be a miracle if everyone in the world is friends. If your personalities do not click, why become enemies? Instead, just be neutral to each other and just utter a polite 'hi', 'thank you' and 'goodbye' to one another.
By doing this, you not only have one enemy less and instead, you may even gain a new friend!
Sigh, if everyone in the world understands, there would be no wars in the world. What a loss... ...
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
My blogging pattern is irregular. I have a bloggers' block now. How am I supposed to un-blocked it? Should I call a plumber to unblock it? Should I eat more vegetables and fruits so that I will have more dietary fibres and that my bowel movements would be more regular and thus, be un-blocked.
Being someone who prefers writing to talking, I am actually quite puzzled at my own ambitions. Since the beginnning of time, I have already had about four ambitions. God knows why I am so fickle-minded. I just canot make up my mind!
Ambition number one: Scientist. I wanted to be a scientist when I was frist introduced into the great mysteries of Science. I was really fascinated by the subject then and that I was quite talented in that area then. Quickly, I fell in love with the subject. Being young and childish, I thought that Science must be my life. So I decided to be a scientist. Well, it was not a bad choice for scientists earn quite some money.
However, as I grew, I turned wiser (I guess). I started to think in a very selfish way. So many things have been discovered by other great scientists like Einstein and Newton. Now, the things left to discovered are so complicated and that if I want to have my big break in my Science career, I guess it would be pertually impossible. I guess that was a very self-centered thought of mine then. So I moved on to my next ambition.
Ambition number two: Actor. I wanted to be an actor when I was young. I guess I was fascinated by the people in the square box sitting in my living room. When I was young, I would sit in front of the television gazing at it. I would also think to myself, "How fun it will be to be in that box one day." I guess that I, like many other peopel, are overwhelmed by the fact that actors are famous and people like to be famous. I so so mad then!
I guess my mind was made up then. When my tuition teacher asked us to write a composition entitled "My Ambition", I wrote about me wanting to be an actor. I guess it was pure luck then for the tuition teacher was the sister of someone in Mediacorp and some days later, I was casted to act as the grandchild of a witch. That was my first show - somethign about witches. I guess I was kind of hooked onto acting and I made it into my amibition. For goodness sake! I was only eight then!
Acting soon became tiring for me. Though I still like them, I decided that I should take a rest and concentrate on my studies. So I went full-fledged into studying. To my surprise, and to many other's, I actually do love studying. I fell in love with language and i started to write down everything that came into my life. I guess I was kind of inspired by the books written by Sue Townsend about Adrian Mole. The more I write, the more I fell in love with writing.
Ambition number three: Author. To think that I actually wanted to be an author. I guess I was not really thinking properly then. To be an author, you have to be really well-versed in your languages. You have to be able to write down the dictionary from the back of your head. Synomons of words have to be at the tip of your fingertips. I verntured into writing for some time and I thought that well, I like that!
However, before I confirmed that writing is my cup of tea, another selfish thought came into my mind. Being an author means that you have to churn out quality books like how chickens lay eggs. You have to be really good to be famous and rich. So, I thought, well, am I good enough? The answer was no. So becoming an author became a definate NO for me. However, I am still indulging in some good writing here and then though.
Ambition number Four: Teacher. I guess I am inspired by the teachers all around me. I must say, I have been really good-fortuned to have met many inspiring teachers in my education road. One of the most obvious teacher was my primary school English Teacher Miss Foong. She pulled my English grade from a C to an A. I want to be a teacher when I grow up. I want to feel the satisfaction teachers get when they manage to perform a miracle on a student. I want to feel the fustration the teachers undergo when they meet with a problem student.
I guess for now, I am still stuck with the ambition of being a teacher. Come to think of it. to be a teacher, you have to be really good in two subjects. Maths is totally ruled out. What can I do? I guess perhaps Sciences. I really like Theatre Studies (Drama) but alas, there are not many schools doing theatre studies now andI dno't know whether all schools will get theatre studies when I grow up. If the answer is no, I guess I will start up a company and start to roam around the island teaching people about Drama.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
I know someone who said, "Buy diamonds? I rather give carbon to her." Well it is true for diamonds are carbon but that is altogether another issue which, if I feel like it, I will discuss some other days.
That two sentences from him got me thinking. Human beings are materialistic people. They strive through their whole life just to enjoy a few luxuries like diamonds and flashy cars. So, is it really necessary?
There is a big difference between a want and a need.
Need: Water, Food, Oxygen, Warmth, Love, Friends and clothes.
Want: Every other things except the above mentioned.
See, we can live our lives happily too, even without all those wants. So, let us reconsider again - Do we need diamonds, big houses and flashy cars? Is it necessary to waste all the money on things like this? Or is it better for us to spend our hard-earned money on better things like providing a great education for your child or using them to help fund researches so that the world can become a better place? Even better, donate to the charity to help the needy - provide them the needs which they may not even be able to afford.
Anyways, many say that money is something that you cannot have with you when you die. You can't take money with you to the other world (if there is one).
So now the question is, " Whether we should live in luxury to enjoy life or help others enjoy life?"
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
The Hornet Issue
It was after PE then. Physical Education was never boring with her around.
She taught us many things. One of the most memorable thing she taught us was how to squat. She succeeded because many of us know how to squat but not me. Till now, I still have not mastered the proper way of squatting.
After lesson, we all lined up in two straight lines. Each pair consist of one boy and one girl. As she lead us back to class, the girls behind started to scream.
They started to shout. They started to run around as if they had red hot heels on. They pranced around as if they had fleas on their body.
"Hornet! Hornet! Help me! Save my life! I am so going to die!"
The girls just uttered gibberish. Nobody understood them.
However, it was evident that a black hornet was flying around. It was flying from one girl to another. The big guy in our class stood there and laughed at the girls. No, mock is a better word to use.
She turned around. She saw the hornet and said, "It's just a hornet! Forget about it, let's go."
The girls continued to run around. She got irritated and walked to the back. The hornet ended up dead in the end. She lead us back to class and we continued our lesson, with that incident put behind our mind. It did not fade off though, everyone remembered it.
REFLECTIONS: She did not panic when she saw the hornet. She remained calm all throughout. Being a teacher, a role model, she remained calm and lead us from one hurdle to another. This hornet was just one hurdle which we had o jump past. She held our hands and guided us through it with no sweat at all.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
"Please may I go to the toilet?" When you say this, you have to put both your hands on your back and look at the teacher politely. This is courtesy.
Let's talk about courtesy. What is courtesy? According to www.dictionary.com, courtesy is the excellence of manners or social conduct. Or easily define as polite behaviour.
Being polite makes one day. Imagine you are eating and you meet with a bad service where the waiter's behaviour is so appalling that it just doesn'tmake your day so nice. However, what if you meet with a polite waiter. That would cheer up your day, wouldn't it?
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
I have made a silent and unknown vow that I will try to minimise blogging about my life but what happened today was really tempting that I find that I have the need to blog down this moment of my life in fear of forgetting it for today must be considered to be one of my best days ever.
Friends for ten years. Will we still be friends twenty years down the road?
Today is 1st September 2006 and today is Teachers' Day. This morning, I set m alarm at seven, woke up, turned off my alarm and set it at eight. At eight, I woke up, turned off the alarm and set it at eight thirty. At eight thirty, I woke up, turned off the alarm and lied in bed till eight forty-five. After which I prepared myself and went to the bus stop and took the bus number 74. The first bus came and I looked at it: Not an air-conditioned bus so I will not sit on this bus. Then, after a painstaking five minutes, the bus finally came and I boarded it. So, here starts my great and interesting journey and the first stop is Hougang Interchange.
Hougang Interchange: Wow! This place is still the same! I met up with my bunch (Note that I use the word bunch) of primary school friends. There were a total of seventeen and one will come later. Wow! That is half of our class! After four years of secondary education, I am actually gald that half of our class have stayed together and believed in one another and came today for the gathering. Who were there? Well, there was me, definately. Chin Siong, Hong Kang, Norman, Eugene, Kar Wei, Glenn, Wai Yang, Sameul, Gilbert, Agnes, Xue Ying, Cherie, Michelle, Lydia, Jocandy and Siying there at the interchange and Defu will be going there by himself.
There are so much changes. I was actually shocked to see that many have changed while many still remained the same. Changed for the better or for the worse? I am in no position to comment for they are all my friends.
After which, we boarded the bus number 161 and proceeded to the second stop of this tour: Woodlands interchange-cum-Causeway point.
Woodlands: There, we took photographs which we will use to develop and after which, give it to Miss Foong as a present. After many photographs and many minutes so frozen smiles, the girls chose one photograph. As you can see from this picture, someone is being hidden and that is our dear Samuel, who is also affectionately known as Sam or 'What' by us.
Finally, we started to journey by foot to our third stop, the lodging of our beloved Primary school teacher, Miss Foong. I wonder if she still look the same. Will she have long hair? Or will she have short hair? Will she be skinny or will she be plump? God knows! I just hope that she will same as ever - witty and cheerful.
Miss Foong's house: Wow! Miss Foong looks the same! As pretty as ever. As gorgeous as ever. As short as ever. Okay, sorry, it was meant to be as an insult. Miss Foong looks good being short. We all like Miss Foong. We all admire Miss Foong. Miss Foong can easily be the most inspiring teacher I've ever met.
So, we got in and eat a lot pizza, chicken and potato and Miss Foong said," Vegetables are for rabbits." Well, if that is true, then 'Chocolate is a sin'.
We sat around and Miss Foong started talking to us about many things. She asked about our mothers. "How's your mother?" She talked about language - how man is less concerned about language than women. How it is because of the 'face' value. Our class became quiet. Miss Fong just simply have the ability to make people pay attention.
Finally, we took some photographs. Now, we finally know why Miss Foong always look so good in every photograph she took. This is because she is very, well erm... , lets just put it this way. She has high taste. One photograph was taken about 3-4 times.
After which, we went into her living room and talked about all the things that happened in the past. We talked about how she treated us in the past - both nicely and badly. We took a look at all the things that 6-8 gave Miss Foong in the past. The file of all the happenings in the past two years of our Primary Six life. The photo album where we prepared for Miss Foong. It is full of our young photographs and we talked and talked and laughed and laughed our hearts out. How I wish I had never grown up.
When we finally left Miss Foong's house, we proceeded to our fourth stop by the lift, the playground.
Playground: There, we sat down and talked about how we used to play "Girl-catch-Boy" or "Boy-catch-Girl" everytime after recess. We sat their and talked about old times. We took out our handphones and started to take photographs with everyone of us. It was so cool. Kar wei, Gilbert and Hong Kang was there acting cute, with their flower pose. Haha, it was cool.
Finally, we all got hungry and headed for our fifth and final stop: Causeway Point's top most floor (or was it the second top?). We sat there and had our dinner. Which was okay. Finally, we went home.
We spent about eight to nine hours togther. However, the day seem to have zoomed all those while. I want to be young again!
When you are in Primary school, you enjoy innocent fun. You have true friends and the friendship will be forever there all your life! I love Primary school.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
It's been a long time since I had this funny feeling. The last time I felt that was when I was in Primary Six and it was the farewell party for us. Now, four years later, I am feeling the same thing again.
Your stomach tenses up and you almost like crying but you have to stop yourself because it will look bad. You feel really sad and everyone else feels sad too. You just feel as if a part of your body is being cut off slowly and it hurts, for there is no aspirin.
I don't want to leave just yet.
People give you many things - hugs, kisses, words, and even gifts. The juniors did us proud by coming up with a skid. It was funny but it was thoughtful too. I guess, it wasn't only me but the others felt the same too.
Looking back, I finally realised how stupid I was when I was young. Fresh into Secondary One, I hope that I would grow up fast. Secondary Two, I hoped that time past even faster for I really wanted to wear long pants. Finally into secondary Three, I became almost senior and I hope that I want time to zoom. Now, in Secondary Four, I am just hoping that time would pass slower and it will freeze. I don't want to grow up now. I want to remain here forever.
Ask me a moment I want to freeze in forever, I would say that it was that day, where we were all in the lush green area. Where we just have all the fun in the world: waterbombs, football, small chats and food.
However, I know that one cannot just be wishful that they will be able to live in a certain moment forever. That is why we have memories. One just have to move on and live life to the fullest.
"Don't die now, die after the performance."
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
I hate to fall. I just don't like it. When I was young, I didn't know the word death, pain nor injury. I was just pure playful and I always run around everywhere and anywhere.
There was once when I was playing tagging with my friends. I ran everywhere - across the roads, climb up fences, jump over railways and did everything one can imagine to not let the tag catch me. I just did not want to be caught even though I have done some dangerous things.
I ran up a stairs. I literaly ran up the stairs, jumping at some step, giving them a miss because I thought I would want to waste my time on them. Then, I just tripped and fell when I skipped a step. I think, thatwas my eleventh step. Great! Just one step before perfection.
There was a lot of blood! A pool of blood! A pond of blood! A lake of blood! A sea of blood!
I was rushed to the hospital. On the way, I was holding my chin and crying, telling my mom," Mummy, I don't want to go to the hospital. Let me go home. I promise I will be a good boy. I won't run around anymore. I won't skip steps anymore. I will climb every single step I encounter. I don't want to go to the hospital. Injections are painful. They bite and I don't want to be punished that way! Mummy, please let me go home. I promise I will be a good boy."
Needless to say, I was sent to the hospital where the "punishment" was dished out to me. Now, the words "fall" and "pain" have been etched into my face forever, by the scar I had gotten from the fall.
Note: The above things are all made up. I was just trying to bring something into you people's attention. If you can figure out I am trying to talk about, good for you. If you can't figure out I am talking about... Well, it's for me to know and for you to guess.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
I am reading the Grimm brothers now. For those who don't know them. They are both great authors who wrote famous fairytales like the Ash-Putel (Cinderella), Snow-Drop (Snow White) and Rose Bud (Sleeping Beauty).
Most of his stories shocked me quite a bit. The characters harbour evil thoughts of killing the bad characters in the story. The characters are not grateful to those who helped them. You know what? Almost everytime, these characters are those who come out unharmed and unscathed.
Also, another factor that shocked me was the way the Grimm brothers punish the evil. For one instant in the goose girl, the maiden had her "thrown into a cast stuck round with sharp nails, and that two white horses should be put to it, and should drag it from street to street till she is dead."
In another instant, in the dog and the sparrow, the sparrow vowed to kill the human and the sparrow killed his horses, broke his jugs of wine and in the end, trick the human's wife to throw a stone onto the human's head, killing him immediately.
Now, are these really fairytales? Or are these tales of gore?
And to think of that, fairytales are read to children as their bedtime stories and if a parent read the orignal grimm fairytales, will it pollute the young juvenile minds of the children?
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Everything in front of me was getting larger. Things are appearing in front of me. I don't know how to describe them. They are all so random. They are starting to grow now and I am starting to shrink. It is is fast.
There is a mouse, or a rat. It is growing. It is looking at me now. The rat is laughing at me. It is smirking at me.
No! There is no rat! It is a lady with eyes as huge as those of goldfish. The lady is hideous. She hissed.
There is no more lady, it is the sun now. It is warm. The sun is not red. It is blue in colour. Is it a luminous sun burning in the presence of oxygen? I am melting. I am evaporating. Every single atom in me is split up. They are moving so quickly that I have no control over myself. I try to gather my atoms and molecules together but I just don't have the strength.
I am split up now. Every single part of my body is gone! Vanished into thin air.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That is how I feel for now.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
It still gets to me.
For already more than eight years, whenever I prepare myself for a performance, I still get nervous.
Adrenaline rush.
I don't like the feeling. I always feel as though something bad will happen. However, the thing is that when I step on stage, all the uneasiness disappear into thin air! Poof!
I perform and I like it.
After the performance, I start to worry again. Have I done well? Did I just make a mistake somewhere there? I should have done that!
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Drama as defined in dictionary.com
a. A prose or verse composition, especially one telling a serious story, that is intended for representation by actors impersonating the characters and performing the dialogue and action.
b. A serious narrative work or program for television, radio, or the cinema.
c. Theatrical plays of a particular kind or period: Elizabethan drama.
d. The art or practice of writing or producing dramatic works.
e. A situation or succession of events in real life having the dramatic progression or emotional effect characteristic of a play.
To me, Drama is about appreciating. Drama is a form of Arts. It is again defined in dictinary.com as studies intended to provide general knowledge and intellectual skills.
Many things are happening in this world too quickly. And we are also rushing through this busy world.
So fast that we don't stop to look, listen and appreciate. Well, Drama makes you do it.
Appreciate the wonderful thigns around you before you lose it and regret it.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Sunday, November 19, 2006 11:59 PM
Imagine.
Imagine that you lost a few thousand dollors in a few seconds. How will you feel?
Chinese New Year has just passed. The fifteen days period must have be quite fun for some and not for the others.
I know, many people will gamble during the Chinese New Year. Gambling has in fact, became a tradition. Correct me if I am wrong, usually in families, they will play poker card games like : BlackJack and Chow Tai Di [A game where the largest number is two and the main aim to to get rid of all the cards in your hand].
The bets?They range from ten cents to a few dollars to even a few hundred dollars.
Mahjong can be quite a popular game too. Mahjong is a game of pattern whewre the way to win is to have three sets of tiles [can be three of the same or three consecutive tiles like 1, 2, 3] and two same tiles. It is a simple game, however, total concentration is needed in the game.
All this games, though they are fun, people will tend to place huge bets in them. What if they lose?
Well, maybe for one or twice, it is okay. However, if it is many times, will it be still okay?
Many people would say that gambling during the Chinese New Year is just a once in a year event. We wouldn't get addicted. However, have they thought about those hardcore gamblers out there who are wasting their lives away by gambling?
Those gamblers who have to resort to borrowing, stealing and cheating to lay their hands on money to gamble. How wrong of that. People borrow from loansharks and what happens in the end? Their families get pulled into the water too. The innocents drown with them.
How fustrating.
Just imagine.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Everyone loves to dream. Because we always find comfort on the dreams that we have. We always dream of the impossible, dream of the things that we know we will never get. We always dream of the perfect life that we are leading. But, when snap back into reality, you find that these dreams are just false hopes.
Reality is cruel. Truth is harsh. Life is just a test of your endurance. The true definition of life is simply put in three words - Work, Stress and studies. Life is a bully. It stresses you into working and studying. All for what? And after you have achieved all that you have dreamt of, life snatches it out of your hands.
But I guess, the only good thing about life is that you can dream. Whenever you are feeling blue, the best way for comfort is to dream. Dreams satisfy your hunger of perfection, your desire for love and your yearn for comfort. However, they are just false. False hopes and dreams taken away from you as fast as it appeared by reality.
I guess, that is life. That is what life is actually all about. Everyone around you is giving you false hopes. Nobody really do care so much for you. Not even your parents. Deep inside everyone, we all have the true us. And the true us, is always selfish. We always think for ourselves first.
That is human.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
I have two huge scars on my body. One on my right leg and one on my left leg. These two scars join at my back and I have a scar at my hip. Well, actually, they are all one scar.
I don't really hide my scars. I show them off. What is there to be ashamed of? I wonder. Actually, I am proud of my scars. I want the world to know my story and learn from it. Not to repeat it anymore. For, it really did left a deep scar in me. Though I cannot remeber this incident at all, I am telling you what my mother exactly told me.
I was nine months old. Not able to speak yet. At that age, I was learning how to walk. You know, when you learn how to walk, you sit in some kind of "wheelchair" for the babies where you walk around sitting in it.
I was just like any child, young and curious. Perhaps my curiosity was overwhelming and it turned out, curiosity killed the cat.
I went to the kitchen and my mother was boiling some water. It was the electrical kind of kettle where you have a cable attached to it.
So, me with my itchy hands, climb up the table, pulled the cable and voila! There I am with the scar now.
My mother feels guilty. But, it isn't her fault. It was entirely my fault. All the fingers was suppose to be pointed at me. Sigh. I feel guilty. Me with my itchy limbs, can't keep them to the body. Haha. Well, I was just an infant. What do you expect?
According to my grandmother, my mother was there beside me at the hospital all the time. She was so heart broken that when my Grandma asked her to take some rest and eat, my mother refused. It was heart wrenching to hear that.A mother's love for her child is greater than anything in the world. This is clearly potrayed in many books like Harry Potter. And as a child, we have the duty to be responsible to our parents and be filial.
My scars don't hurt now. Sometimes, my mother will come and ask me whether do I blame her for my scars. Whenever I hear that, I feel so guilty. I don't blame her. She was innocent and she is reprimanding herself for causing my legs to be scarred. Sigh...
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
媽：還好嗎？倫敦很好， 生活很好， 功課很好。錢花完了， 寄多些來。 對了， 今年的新年不回來了。 別擔心， 我沒事。
By looking at this simple letter to the mother, I was touched. By translating it into English, it says, ' Mom, How are you. London's good, life's good, results' good. I finished my money, sent more. I won't be coming back for New Year this year. Don't worry, I'm fine.'
One simple letter can break your parents heart. You are in London studying and you sent this message this letter to your parents. Imagine, you sent your son to London to study, only seeing him during Chinese New Year. Of course, you will wish that he comes back. Of course you will eagerly await for the day.
So, don't break your parents' heart for the people out there studying. So, remember to write letters to your parents, come back for Christmas, come back for New Year. Come back at any free time you have!
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
-Captain Corelli's Mandolin -
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
I have migrated. I did something to my previous blog and everything just so happens to go hay-wire. I guess, the fastest and best way is to migrate my thoughts to another site.
Don't worry though, I will re-post every entry of mine. I certainly hope I will be able to do it for I am a computer idiot, prefering to spend more time behind my books than in front of the computer screen.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
